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2019 Intentions

Lost Valley Ranch, Colorado.
Photo: @tessajoyxo

Hello 2019.

I got through the holidays. I decided I wasn’t going to forgo every chip, piece of bread, or occasional cookie.

I even thought, with moderation, I could handle some pasta.

So, for the three months starting with Halloween, straight through to New Year’s Eve, I wasn’t as diligent with the no carbs, no sugar thing.

Although, my daughter is keen to remind me that I have not been doing no carbs all along. That a lot of what I’ve been eating has carbs in it anyway. C’est la guerre.

All that aside, here’s the good news. I really only gained a few pounds. Like, maybe three in total. All my clothes still fit, and I didn’t have to deprive myself, piling up resentments over the holidays.

So, I’m back to normal, eating the way I have been, and the transition has been fine. I’m not craving bread and sugar or thinking about binging or considering tossing the whole idea of going back to bad eating.

Targets for 2019

It has given me pause, however. I’m starting to be concerned about why I won’t bite the bullet and lose what I need to in order to ride horses again. It’s still at least another good thirty pounds or so I’d need to lose. Not easy, but not impossible. It would require some discomfort. Some physical activity, but more disturbing is the mental commitment. I’m wondering why I have a block against this.

I think I’m going to have to work that out in therapy (again). For the time being, I did find several mountain ranches that offer riding as part of the visitor experience. See photo above.

I want to do this!

I’m kinda in a funk right now. In a bit of a self-reflective purgatory.

Oh well, thought I’d throw all this out to the world.

A New Year’s Resolution


In 2014, I’m going to stop caring about being overweight.

I’d like to be thin for the same reasons I outlined in my 2011 post when I kicked off my successful 50-lb weight loss program.  The weight loss was gratifying, but it reminded me of something I’ve learned about in my professional life called the 9x problem.  At 50 pounds down, I was feeling better, but my life was definitely not 9x better.  For all the effort and obsession I put into losing weight, I started questioning why I was doing it.

Recall, I am not unhealthy.  Blood pressure always normal, no signs of diabetes or history in the family, no heart problems, etc.  I just checked my year-end records, and I did not go to the doctor once this year for any health-related issue.  I’m in that 30% class of people obese, but metabolically healthy.  I know that just irritates everyone, but that’s the way it is.  Obviously, if something cropped up where my health was affected, I’d address the issue.

At 54 years old, I’m pretty sure my body has decided it wants to stay this way.  So, this blog will lie dormant until sometime (maybe, maybe not) I get motivated to “get back on the horse.”

Happy 2014.

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Taking a break.

I’m still dealing with heel pain, so I’ve decided to really rest my foot and give myself a break.  I’m disappointed, but when I started this trek I told myself – first and foremost – I was not going to punish myself.  I have stopped exercising, but have not gone back to eating food that is generally bad for the population.  I’m still not eating carbs or sugar, but I may re-introduce brown rice into my diet.  I’ve heard it’s bad to completely cut out carbs for an extended period of time.

My weight keeps fluctuating up and down about 2 pounds, but is otherwise steady.

So, I wait.

The good news is I’ve re-connected with the stable where I had signed up to lease a horse before.  They have a new trainer who said she could teach me English lessons, so I’m really looking forward to that.  Considering you mount a horse with your left foot (my bad foot), I have to make sure I’m okay before I start riding again.  But, it’s giving me something wonderful to look forward to.

I will update again when things start moving again.  Literally and figuratively.

Plateau or Ledge?

For the past month, I have not continued to lose weight.  I’ve flat-lined at the 50-pound loss.  I know it has much to do with my annoying plantar faciitis and the fact that I can’t continue to use the treadmill, walk, or do the normal exercise I was doing that resulted in my early rapid weight loss.

I’m still sticking to my no carb, no sugar food choices, but the weight has just settled in and won’t budge.

I’m fairly frustrated.  At this point, when the pounds stop coming off, I start to lose patience.  I question why I’m doing this if there are no results, yada yada.

I realize I’m at a crossroads.  I have to change something I’m doing (or not doing) or I risk giving up completely.  I’m open to ideas, so if you have any, please share!

(Eating) Disorderly Conduct

In high school, my daughter completed an International Baccalaureate subject in Art.  Much of her art centered on a theme of beauty and a warped female interpretation of beauty.  This  “cutout book” was a satirical statement on how girls could reshape these works of fine art, by slimming down these ancient beauties.

She got rave reviews from the reviewer for this work in particular.

Lately, I’ve been wondering if I’ve become obsessed about getting to my goal weight.  I simply will not eat carbs or sugar.  It’s sort of like putting an aspirin between your legs to not get pregnant – I just won’t do it.  I also was a little alarmed that I cut off the taping my foot doctor had done to my foot last week because it prevented me from swimming.  I’ve been wondering if such extreme actions are really healthy mentally.

But, on the other hand, I get increasingly frustrated with the fat and flab I see now hanging from my arms, legs, and stomach showing up in my reflection in the mirror.  It’s hanging around like guests at a party who won’t leave long after the party is over.  I just want to be rid of it, so my mind starts thinking of ways I can cut corners.  I’ve even thought of surgery and liposuction.

When I visited my daughter in Florida recently, I was very disappointed to discover I had gained four pounds upon my return.  I’ve since lost them, but am still where I was a few weeks ago.  So, my progress has stalled once again.

I’m considering going back to My Fit Foods for another 3-week period.  I’m fairly sure I won’t have the same dramatic weight loss I had the first time ’round, but I thought it might help to introduce a new regime of eating healthy.  I feel like I’m in a rut.